Top Ten Things To Do At The Trump Presidential Library

The Trump presidency is over, at least for now. Many fine people have told me that Trump wants to have a very expensive presidential library.

Since Trump isn’t much of a reader or writer the question arises what will the library have to offer. I like to be helpful. So I have compiled a top ten list of things to do that will keep you busy and happy when visiting the library.

1. Most people like a little exercise. But exercise is often boring. Not at the Trump Library where the Capitol Hill Climbing Wall greets you. See if you can climb all the way to the top. If you make it, more fun awaits.
2. Everyone likes to take a picture with the president. At the Trump Library, you get to insert yourself right behind the president at one of his famous rallies. Just imagine being right behind him when he mocks a disabled person by making a funny face. What a blast. What a photo for your collection.
3. Ever want to sit behind a little desk. Just like Trump you can do that with the replica of the president’s tiny desk. Your photo will be a great souvenir.
4. Don’t miss the Tweet Room, where thousands of Trump’s tweets are displayed. Retweet any or all of them to your heart’s delight.
5. No visit would be complete without stopping by the You’re Fired Room. See wax figures of all the big and little folks Trump fired during his presidency. Feel free to lobby insults at them. Just like the real ones they don’t talk back much.
6. Did you bring the kids? They need something to make the time go by. Drop them by the cages. They’re like the ones at the border. Go ahead. Leave them there as long as you like. They will be more respectful of you from here on.
7. By now you might be getting a little hungry. The Trump cafeteria has fast food, cooked well done and drowning in ketchup. Yum!
8. After you eat your stomach might be a little upset. Good time to visit the Fake News area where you can call fake news reporters enemies of the people or tell them they are a disgrace. That should get your mind off the explosive diarrhea you are about to endure.
9. Maybe you can put off that stomach problem by visiting the Coronavirus cure area. Bathe yourself in bright white light. Drink some bleach if you have the courage. It’s all there waiting for you along with some nice steroids for a small additional charge.

10. Finally, no visit would be complete without a visit to the Fleece Room. Open your wallet and make a donation to your favorite Trump cause. But be sure to read the fine print before you leave the Trump Library. No refunds!